Nothing Can Replace

Suddenly it flashes through my eyes..July 2007.

5 Years ago. It was the first time I came there. With no idea at all what will happen. I just expect some amount of money, that was offered by one of us, and the only thing that matters to me at that time.   We meet with a man, my guess aged at the end of twenties. He's very nice, friendly, open, and decent. He told us everything bad about that place. But ridiculously, the badness about that place was the most interesting thing that made us sure to did our internship there.   In the middle of June, almost exactly 5 years ago. We started our internship there.

There is 5 of us, and I was the only one who offer myself to work on a different project at PPIC Department. Now I feel just like it was meant to be. On the first week of our internship, we stay in the plant dormitory, which was empty when we came. It exist at the second floor of the oldest dormitory, the biggest room that ever exist until now. We were given that room because we need big space for 5 of us.

That week, was the week when we get to know another people who also stayed there, and they was the nicest people I've ever met in my life. They're warm, cheerful, and accept us as if they have known us for long time. I fell in love to that place at the first day I stay there.  

Then time goes, we moved to office dormitory in Jakarta on the 2nd week. But we just get more amazing times, met more amazing people.  

There is 2 person who became our tutor there. The one is the PPIC Manager (at least it was his title at that time), the only Industrial Engineer there, and the other is the Operation Manager which is also the son of the company owner. Both of them were very nice, open minded, accepting, and appreciate our opinion and advice, although we were still undergraduate student that only know theory. And so did we, we see that place as a place to grow, to explore our "theory" and make them reality. The managers, which is the sons of the owner, they were humble, down to earth, love to share things with an intern like us. That's why at that time, we admire this place, and all in it, so much.  

Those things brings me back to that place for my final project. And that time, my destiny begins. I (maybe accidentally) was offered to work there, even when my final project still a proposal. Imagine how lucky I am. I offered, whithout any condition applied.  

Regarding my family's economic condition that time, there is no reason for me to not accept this job. I need it, and they need me. It's a win-win condition. I started to work on 15th of July, 2008. A year after my internship.  

First month of my work life was not easy at all. I was sorrounded by negative people, with their negative talks. They talk crap about work, undeserved payment, lousy system, awful boss, which none of their talk I trusted. I have my own opinion about this place, i have a different mindset with them, so why should i listen to them? They would leave soon anyway, cause all of them have send their resignation letter, no long before i came.  

I believe with the person who gave me job, who has helped me with my final project. He's been good to me all this time, and there is no reason for me to not trust him, at all.   Even the negative people underestimated me for the job that I will responsible at, and said that the former PIC was very smart and even she can did it right. But i keep going, no matter what. With the scenario that has given to me in the job offer. 3 years passed, people comes and goes, including 2 my college mates that has found their own path at another place.  

In that 3 years, me with my friend who also did our internship there, together with the Operation Manager, build the supply chain management, fix the inventory system, scheduling system, delivery system, and all related to Supply Chain Management. We held meeting almost everyday. Debating our opinion, explore our idea even the craziest. Through that time, we have became friends, or even family, more than just some co-worker or superior-subordinates, who give and do the instruction. We do it with passion, because we were so happy to do that, and there is no such things more exciting than seeing our work shows the good result and make the company grow bigger.  

Until that time, May 2012, I was transferred to another department which before was held by my senior at college. Out of my expectation, few months after I was transferred, also as the effect of the resignment of one of a Department Head, there is some change in supply chain structure, and i was given more trust to handle more responsibilities, almost the same as 3 half of Departments collide together. But with the transfer of the other department's staff to my departments, I accept that responsibilities.  

Time goes by, new people came, make me more excited with my job. Even everyday things gets harder, but my love to that place, and that job, keeps me wake in the morning to go to work again.   But things are not as smooth as we thought. Things happened. The fantastic growth of this place has become a two bladed sword for me. Me, who was never believed to whatever people say about the executive, who always believed about the goodness of this family, finally see what happens when we seen as a troublemaker.  

I feel judged. I don't have time, or opportunity to explain what is actually happened. I feel betrayed, for the first time, by persons who i always seen as a family. We're all in this together. All i wish that tome that someone will stood up for me, because the pressure was too high, and the power was too strong. But all I sees that time just pressure, intimidation, blames, and nothing I have done was seen as something good.  

That's why I choose to leave, because I can't see any chance of thing could be better between me and them, and that was no good, for me and for them.  

But now, I miss all of it. I miss those things so much. When I left, I feel I have left a half of myself there.   At that place, i believe in my self. At that place, i found people who believed in me. At that place too, I found the love of my life. I found friends I have never found for most years in my life.   Even I was there only for 4 years, I can say, a half of my life happens there. And nothing can replace.

(Written at July, 2012)